The greatest lp ever made, a gloriously mad Kinks-influenced underground edwardian progressive masterpiece, bertie is a deranged subversive and witty concept album about a man’s descent into ruin, ‘Dragonfly Wings’ combines proto Motorik drumming predating Neu with Hawkwind and Incredible String Band influences, finished off with Noel Coward-y nuances. The surefire future hit ‘Would You Like a Brown Ale?’ is pure Ray Davies filtered through the demented minds of this ex-Etonian band of dissipated Aristocratic youths mangling La Bamba into a Kinksian breakdown, ‘Would You Like To Score?' says it like it is, without the wishy washy metaphors of the proletarian bands of the time, there is no ‘purple haze’ here, only, ‘where can we buy drugs’. Post Hellfires, Bertie ends trouserless and ruined on the streets in the ultimate track.
Far better than SF Sorrow, Tommy or Arthur, Bertie is a powerful argument for the return of a feudal system and a new British Empire. To reiterate, Bertie is the greatest LP ever made, and we wish to the gods we could press it on Shellac. Only 2 or 3 original lps are known to exist, with fabulous hand sprayed covers. It’s as if Noel Coward, Hawkwind, The Incredible String Band, Neu, The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band and The Kinks were scrambled together in a disastrous Star Trek Teleportation accident. THE BEST LP IN THE WORLD. In 1970 the Berties took over a crumbling mansion in the wilds of Wales, they made this lp, sent it to John Peel (whose letter of reply is reproduced on the sleeve), and never left. They remain in Wales to this day.
A1 Would You Like A Brown Ale?
A2 Giraffe Song
A3 Get Involved With Your Work
A4 Post Orgasm Confessions
A5 Do You Know Where I Can Score?
B1 Bloated Fridge Road
B2 Dragonfly Wings
B4 Bertie, Where Are Your Trousers?
B5 The Nice Game
B6 Can't Escape Your Fate